I tried to get you
but the jewelers refused my debit card for lack of funds, and after sitting in jail for stealing a candy bar at the age of six, I decided I'd try a different gift, something more in my price range. I ran to Wal-Mart and bought you a twelve pack of
so you could taste what Texas beer was all about, but Mk informed me that was tacky and that the bottles would break before they got there, so he'd take that burden off my hands and drink the beer so it didn't go to waste.
I thought of offering you one of my most prized possessions, but Jacob didn't want to get in the box. (this is the face I got)
He said something about you smelling like a leech lover. ::shrugs:: I think he's just being silly, you smell fine to me. :)
So, I was left wondering what do you give a lady that has great friends, a wonderful family, and too much time to waste in the fandom? This is all I could come up with.
Yeah. Shit. So...I hope you're not too disappointed. I know it's not that great, and it didn't really cost me anything, but it's the thought that counts, right? It took me a lot of time to think of the perfect gift and you should know, I suck at giving people what they really want for their birthdays. I wasn't sure if you'd be happy with this or not, so after a two packs of cigarettes, and a half a bottle of vodka later, I decided to give it one more go. I pulled all the connections I have, (which aren't many, mind you) layed on my back for a while, brought my knee pillows out of comission, had my first girl on girl experience, and got in touch with some people who knew a certain hot sparkly peened vampire. It took me all I had in my bag of tricks, but I got you a night with Edward!! When he heard the news his face was all
So I hope your happy. I think I have like five more kids on the way and know clue who the daddies are. You better not make his face look like this
Love, KennedyMommy3
